I am a grandparent
Grandparents. Why is it that when your child, the one you raised, loved, nurtured and cared for gets upset at you that grandchildren become the pawn? Well because it hurts that’s why I mean that is a no brainer.
Has it always been this way?
I am fairly new in the grandmother role. Just four years, but I have five grandchildren within those four years. My children have been angry children at me, but this child, in particular, does this to me time and time again. Four years is not that long, but it is long enough to scar my heart, hell it burned me the very first time and it burns a bit deeper each and every time.
No one is perfect
I am not a perfect parent, nor do I preach to be. I made many mistakes and I continue to do. I can admit that I don’t own the perfect parent book. It seems that no matter how hard I try, try to change methods, behaviors, anything to have a relationship with my children, at least for me, I have continue to have issues and I know now… It will always be this way with this child of mine and myself but for the love all the stars in the universe, why must my grandchild be the pawn?
In the world, we live in
I could and should write a book of pain and hurt in families. Maybe I should, maybe it would help me deal with the constant yo-yo life I have with my child and my grandchild. I love this baby so much and I want him to know this, but this week and who knows how long, I am not even allowed to tell him that I love him. I was told that last week. Don’t tell him you love him. I love him with all of my being just as I love his mother.
Baby if you ever read this please know how much your Nana loves you. You are the blood in my heart.
We are NEVER guaranteed tomorrow EVER
Remember that next time you want to be spiteful and hurtful. There are always two sides to a story I know this, but I know that using a child as a pawn, as bait, as leverage is never ok. It is never right. It causes pain that is quite indescribable.
Can I make a wish?
I wish for peace. I wish for understanding. I wish for love and respect. I wish for patience. I wish this for all of us. Each day is a gift. Untie the ribbons and see what is inside. Say I love you. Hug and kiss. Say you are sorry. Forgive. Remember but move on and learn. Don’t say things you will regret. Live life to its fullest. Let me hold my grandchild.