I am a grandparent

Grandparents.  Why is it that when your child, the one you raised, loved, nurtured and cared for gets upset at you that grandchildren become the pawn?  Well because it hurts that’s why I mean that is a no brainer.

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Has it always been this way?

I am fairly new in the grandmother role.  Just four years, but I have five grandchildren within those four years.  My children have been angry children at me, but this child, in particular, does this to me time and time again.  Four years is not that long, but it is long enough to scar my heart, hell it burned me the very first time and it burns a bit deeper each and every time.

No one is perfect

I am not a perfect parent, nor do I preach to be.  I made many mistakes and I continue to do.  I can admit that I don’t own the perfect parent book.  It seems that no matter how hard I try, try to change methods, behaviors, anything to have a relationship with my children, at least for me, I have continue to have issues and I know now… It will always be this way with this child of mine and myself but for the love all the stars in the universe, why must my grandchild be the pawn?

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

In the world, we live in

I could and should write a book of pain and hurt in families.  Maybe I should, maybe it would help me deal with the constant yo-yo life I have with my child and my grandchild.  I love this baby so much and I want him to know this, but this week and who knows how long, I am not even allowed to tell him that I love him.  I was told that last week.  Don’t tell him you love him.  I love him with all of my being just as I love his mother.

Baby if you ever read this please know how much your Nana loves you.  You are the blood in my heart.

 We are NEVER guaranteed tomorrow EVER

Remember that next time you want to be spiteful and hurtful.  There are always two sides to a story I know this, but I know that using a child as a pawn, as bait, as leverage is never ok.  It is never right.  It causes pain that is quite indescribable.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Can I make a wish?

I wish for peace.  I wish for understanding.  I wish for love and respect.  I wish for patience.  I wish this for all of us.  Each day is a gift.  Untie the ribbons and see what is inside.  Say I love you.  Hug and kiss.  Say you are sorry.  Forgive.  Remember but move on and learn.  Don’t say things you will regret.  Live life to its fullest.  Let me hold my grandchild.

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash
















Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash


  1. I can feel your pain in this. My son is 14 and we are having a bit of a time with his grandmother. He is choosing not to see her but I worry that she thinks I’m using him as a pawn. We’re all a little bit scared but I know that she must be missing him and so your story has really touched a nerve. I hope that everything works itself out and that everyone can find peace x

  2. Be patient. Be kind to your child. But be disobedient if you need to, say I love you whenever you feel like it to whoever you wish. Say it to your child when you’re hurt. And tell them that’s what mama’s do. Love Shouldn’t hurt, but at times it does. Good luck.

    1. Thank you so much. I just hope that she can see that and I say I love you every single day.

  3. I know and that is what worries me the most… but I hope all the letters and journals I keep for him will help him understand and know how much I love him
    . Thank you..

  4. I have a similar story…with one child mostly but the parent of more than half of my grandchildren. The past few years I have made a few steps forward but I seem to often find I’ve also moved back a few. One thing I won’t do and that’s to give up.

    1. I am so sorry for your pain as well. Your right though, we can’t give up, it’s not in our hearts to do so… thank you for your comments and sharing.

    1. Thank you for reading!!!! They are the beat of my heart. Same to you!

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